Reading Order
How to Win FriendsHow to Win Friends and Influence People Reading Order
Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) is one of the best-selling self-help books in history — and arguably the first book of the genre — selling over 30 million copies since publication and remaining in print continuously for nearly ninety years. Its principles of interpersonal effectiveness — genuine interest in others, avoiding criticism and arguing, acknowledging others' perspectives — were derived from Carnegie's experience training salespeople and public speakers and have influenced generations of readers from Warren Buffett to political leaders.
Where to start
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Complete How to Win Friends Book List
- 1Buy
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie·1936·The complete foundational text. The 1981 revised edition updated the language; both are widely available. Start here. - 2Buy
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Dale Carnegie·1948·Carnegie's companion book on managing anxiety and worry — the natural sequel covering the emotional self-management that complements the social skills of the first book. Read second.
How to Win Friends — Frequently Asked Questions
What are Carnegie's core principles in How to Win Friends?
Carnegie's principles fall into four parts: (1) Fundamental techniques — don't criticize, condemn, or complain; give honest and sincere appreciation; arouse in the other person an eager want. (2) Ways to make people like you — become genuinely interested in other people; smile; remember names; be a good listener; talk in terms of the other person's interests; make the other person feel important. (3) How to win people to your way of thinking — avoid arguments; never say 'you're wrong'; if you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically; begin in a friendly way; get the other person saying 'yes'; let the other person feel the idea is theirs. (4) How to be a leader and change people without arousing resentment — begin with praise; call attention to mistakes indirectly; talk about your own mistakes first; ask questions instead of giving orders. The principles are simple, but their consistent application requires significant psychological insight and discipline.
Why is a 1936 book still relevant?
Carnegie's book is still relevant because it is based on observations about human psychology that don't change with technology or cultural shifts: people want to feel important, understood, and appreciated; they respond better to praise than to criticism; they are persuaded more by their own reasoning than by external argument; and relationships are built through genuine interest and attention rather than through impression management. While the examples are dated (many come from salesmen and businessmen of the 1920s-30s), the psychological insights hold. Warren Buffett, who took Carnegie's course as a young man and credits it as one of the most important things he ever did, said the diploma from that course was the most important on his wall.
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